first weekend

It is the first weekend without My Love. So far so good.

All the kiddos helped with the cleaning, The entire house is clean!

They are all outside playing now.

Now there is me left with my thoughts.

The thoughts that I avoid.

I pray to GOD that I will be able to get through this. I am so nervous and scared.

I will be taking care of 5 children all by myself.

Yes, yes I know that I am with them by myself practically all day when he is at work, but the fact is he always came home at the end of the work day.

You know what it is time to pick myself up and get out of these house clothes and get dressed. I can not keep myself like this the entire time he is gone.

I Love my family and the best thing I can do for them right now is keep moving.

keep moving forward. Keep myself busy.

Maybe the time will pass by fast. Hopefully it will.

I am supposed to start college next fall. I am so excited! To be able to finish college and start my career is something I have been wanting to do.

Even while writing this thing. In what seems like random thoughts. I still think of him. I am trying to think about or talk about something else to distract myself, but I am unable to do so.

I did not sleep last night. It is getting more and more difficult to sleep, but apparently neither could he. He said he was in and out of sleep all night.

Is it possible him and I are that connected?

Well it is time to end this entry and get moving'.

I Love my Husband and I Love all Our Kiddos. to put it directly I LOVE MY FAMILY!