It is night and I am surrounded :)

I am wide awake unable to sleep. I have not yet figured out how to just shut my eyes and go to sleep. It has been difficult to sleep the last few days. It feels like I can't sleep when I am supposed to.



It is10:22 p.m. and I am surrounded by my daughters. well if you want to get technical my step daughters (3), but I consider them more than that. Well now the boys are in here..lol..two on the floor three on the bed..They are so cute! I think our room is the hang out tonight..lol

They all want to play on my laptop.


It is so funny to watch them clammier around me like there is no other room on the bed besides right on top of me..lol.. I don't mind.





Just talked to my Hubby..I Love hearing his voice. Especially when he says "I Love You Beautiful" I Love him sooo much.








All these kidos will keep me busy while the hubby is away. It is so weird still not to have him here joking around with them.




Tristan and Lil' Brian are playing games now.. You can't distract those boys for anything while they are playing games. The Boys especially miss Brian already. They already asked when he is coming back.









Family is everything, without them where would any of us be.





Do not bring your past in your future, but make it a part of who you become.




As the days go by it will be a strange thing not to have my husband by my side.





Love is a strange thing. It can make you so happy, then out of no where make you so sad.











I want his arms around me right now. ( even though he would probably be playing call of duty right now..lol)


I look ahead to all of our futures and see a great life, maybe not your ordinary or normal life but Man is it going to be a hell of a ride.

She will be patient and she will be waiting for the day he will return and she can once again be in his arms.

Bed is half gone

He has not laid next to me for two nights now. This is going to be harder than I thought.

How did I do this before? I was single for so long. I had no problems sleeping alone. It is different now. I can't imagine my life without him.

We have come a long way. I have known him since I was 15. (wow! almost 14 years ago.) He went off and married with 4 children and I went off and had o1 child. Who would have thought 10 - 11 years later I would have run back into my future husband.

We have custody of his 4 children and I have my child. I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I never thought I would have such a large family. I love it!

My husband is deployed right now and will be gone for a little while.

The day he left I couldn't stop crying. All I wanted was to hold onto him and not let him go. I wanted to keep that moment going.

Do not get me wrong I understand he has a job to do. I understand that as a soldiers wife I have to be more patient and understanding than most.

We have been through so much drama in our relationship and it felt so wonderful to finally come to that place where we had become ONE.

My family tells me to just take it a day at a time. " A day at a time."

hmmm. sometimes it feels like it is a minute at a time.

Maybe it will get easier as the time passes.

All I know is I Love My Wonderful Husband with all my heart.

He is serving our country and taking care of our family. All I want from him right now is to take care of himself and come back home to us safe.