kick, scream,

Today and yesterday was an especially hard day for me.
I have been sick and my body feels like it just wants to give out.

I have to just keep reminding myself "God does not give us more than we can handle."

I fight to stay above water. I kick and kick, I will not give up. It will take the last breath in me till I am done.

I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.
but I can't get the words out.
I stay silent and keep it to myself.

my life is no longer my own.